Question: what happens when people fall in love?

Response:Dear Rudolf,

I’m not sure if this means “how” do we fall in love…or what happens after we fall in love…or what makes it possible for us to fall in love. But I love the question!

Question: A theme that seems to come up in the Dharma is nakedness. In my life, I have found it extremely difficult to be naked, to be exposed both physically and emotionally. I tend to enjoy quite a bit of privacy. When I am exposed, I feel very uncomfortable, quite agitated and it's times when I feel extremely agitated that I do not want to sit on my cushion. In fact, if I get to such a point of agitation, I don't sit on my cushion but do things to numb it out. Is there a way that I could methodically work with this type of situation so that I can systematically learn to gently unveil myself?

Response:Dear Friend,

Thank you for this wonderful question. I found it helpful to look into this experience of being exposed or naked. It always surprises me how finding specific words to articulate an experience – like “nakedness” – can evoke so much learning and illumination.

I want to begin here with a story about nakedness.

Elizabeth contributes to Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop blog, and the following was a recent question to which she responded. Her response follows. Note: Elizabeth would like to thank those submitting questions for your patience, as she aspires to respond in a timely manner, but sometimes can only get to responding after a few months. Please keep submitting your questions!

Question: Often times when we occupy the space between right and wrong, it keeps us from seeing our own responsibility in matters. When we judge others' foibles and personality traits, what does it really say about us? What can we do to identify and get rid of judgment in ourselves and in our lives?

Response: What I hear in this question is a common concern for all of us: we want to be able to respond to our relationships skillfully, and with clarity...

In the teachings they say that our basic nature is free from confusion and full of qualities such as loving-kindness, compassion and clarity. It says that the confusion and suffering we experience is temporal or “adventitious,” which means that it is non-essential…not part of our basic nature. This is a lot different from the idea of original sin.

I have thought a lot about how this is so…how we can say this? How can we say that our basic nature is free of confusion when we see so much confusion in our minds and the world around us?

My teacher, Kongtrul Rinpoche, once said: “In the dharma, there are as many paths as there are people.” What he means here, I think, is that each individual’s entry into the dharma is quite personal… and the way we approach our path is unique and we have to find our way with it. This includes the lineage we choose to join.